Dear friend,

I’ve always wondered why rainy days leave someone feeling solemn. Every time their expressions are the same, always the infamous themed story, “Awww, Rain, Rain, GO AWAY…” but I won’t finish the rest. Secretly I love rainy days, because I can let my imagination run freely… sort of like streams of consciousness, and every thought is full of pure sunlight and fields of flowers – a dream land. And sometimes, when I’m having a bad day I just think about the sunshine of my imagination. All is better.

My dad loves rainy days too. As a kid I remember him and I used to share that interest. As rain poured, we spent those hours of sunshine together in our den, amidst the tall book shelves and peaceful fire; playing a game of chess, or reading, or imagining. I learned from our time together, that if you just let your mind be free, we can understand the true meaning of bliss. I like to think of those moments as the best any father or son can share.

As I grew older my imagination expanded and when I needed to focus I couldn’t… I would always dream about sunshine and other things. After that I was diagnosed with severe ADD. My parents let the doctors put me on medication, and since, my imagination has faded. Everything colorful became grey. My vivid streams of consciousness in which I found peace disappeared. Into high school, it was then I began to dabble into a self-medication process. I read poetry; I wrote poetry… sometimes I drove; sometimes I walked… sometimes I did things I shouldn’t have. I just wanted an escape and then I found it. Skateboarding was always there to lift the anchor of medication. Skateboarding was that escape I always needed – those blissful moments in sailing the air where my mind is free. But then, back to reality.

I wrote this letter because I’ve been wondering if I should quit taking my medication… if I should lie to my parents and my doctors. All I want my mind to be the way it was meant to be… free.

My kinship always,
Jammy